Conquering Anxiety Over Feeling Incompetent

Failed work attempts…trying and failing again and again; how am I going to go about conquering anxiety over feeling incompetent? What did I do when I failed to do well in my work assignments? I quit, gave up, and decided it wasn’t meant to be. The pain of failing has left me in a state of depression. I figured, why try?

Growing up, my verbally abusive mother belittled me and criticized me for every fault. She reinforced the message that I was an incompetent failure. I stayed stuck for twenty-two years after high school, unable to make progress, working dead-end menial jobs and enduring abuse from impatient managers who also reinforced the same message as my mom. I hung my head low, avoided eye contact, and felt ashamed and insecure.

Then something changed inwardly. I began to yearn to move forward and become significant. I grew tired of wasting my life. A determination took hold of me. I knew it was more difficult for the mentally ill to achieve success, and that this fact discouraged so many with the illness. I rose against the fear I felt and, with the help of the government, enrolled in a technical college in my early forties. Was this my aspiration? I wasn’t sure, but I graduated with honors. My first job assignment led to…failure again. I realized my heart wasn’t in it, so I decided to try again.

I enrolled in a community college with the government’s help and graduated with a 4.0 GPA, proving to my mom and others that I could succeed if I tried, at least in education. After graduation I realized that again my heart wasn’t in my degree field, so I discontinued pursuing work in that field when my resume received no results.

I Just Knew Not to Give Up

What else was there for me? I enrolled in a Biblical Studies Certificate two-year study program at a theological school. Now this was geared more to my heart. Anticipation built in me when I graduated, wondering what God had for me. I met with a Christian career counselor who pointed me in the right direction.

Baby steps. I wanted to serve my God. But how? Being shy as a mouse and timid, I avoided conversation at all costs. Every time I was reminded of the need to obtain work, I pushed it out of my mind. You know the saying, “Bloom where you are planted.” Why not?

So now I minister on social media outlets. I believe God has anointed me, and that I am talented, creative, and have a lot to give. You are too. Don’t let any negative voice tell you differently. Resist the lies of the devil. We were created to minister to the world and to the church, but Satan tries to sow seeds of self-doubt in us. He uses others to destroy our confidence and tries to make us feel incompetent.

So, what if you’ve failed, and failed again? Thomas Edison failed over 1,000 times to create a working light bulb. Ben and Jerry experienced failure until they invented their unique ice cream. Walt Disney was told he lacked creativity. Elvis was told he had no talent as a singer.  Don’t give up…there is something or even several different things you can do to make a difference, to touch others. You just have to keep trying until you find your niche. Let the desires of your heart guide you. God made you to glorify Him.

God Never Gives Up on US

God loves us just as we are…mentally ill and all. He knows the fears we have, the anxiety, the worries. He knows that we face challenges. But He also knows that He has created us and redeemed us. Don’t settle for anything less than God’s best for you. Shine, shine, shine. You can conquer this anxiety over feeling incompetent. Some things you both love to do and can do well. You are spiritually gifted to be a blessing. Stop feeling like you have so little you can do…that is a lie. You have a testimony, you have talents, you have skills, you have knowledge. If you need to improve them to minister effectively, then begin to pursue those paths. Then watch and see what the Creator will do with what you offer Him.

Isaiah 60:1 Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee.

Matthew 6:33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.