Overcoming My Lack of Motivation

Fifteen years ago, I moved from my parent’s home into my own. I expected my life to be different, for now, I would be a responsible adult. The only problem was my mindset hadn’t changed. Before I moved, my life consisted of leisure activities, writing, eating, and sleeping. I hid in the safety of my bedroom, reluctant to venture forth, and I rarely attended church. I had no job, no aim, no ambition; I was just trying to get through another day amidst the confusion and depression. No progress was made of any kind on overcoming my lack of motivation.

During the first few months of my new living environment, I felt lost, staring at the walls, helpless. The mess loomed in my mind like a huge task I needed to undertake, but I could not find the desire to work on overcoming my lack of motivation even to try doing the barest minimum of housework. I had no vision for my future. Apathy was a constant companion. I was defeated by my mental illness. Where do I even start? I wondered. Feeling overwhelmed, I made a hasty call to a Christian counseling center who agreed to see me for a reduced fee.

Hope Began to Dawn

Thus began a rigorous rehabilitation by God to change my perspective, develop motivation, make progress, and work toward goals. Month by month I took baby steps, emerging out of my cocoon of helplessness to a more productive me. My therapist gave me structure and a plan. She refused to judge me whenever I tried but failed, which encouraged me to get back up again and keep trying. She cheered me on even when there was little accomplished.

The fruit of persistence developed in me, keeping me hopeful despite being tempted to get discouraged. That resilience was how I became motivated to put in the effort each week and work toward a better future.

Two years went by. I found myself on my own again; my therapist left for another job. She had assisted me in determining my goals each month; now, I was able to make them on my own.

More years passed. The number of checked off goals on the lists I made each month kept increasing. I made a list of long-term goals, a list of short-term goals, monthly goals, and weekly goals, even finding some to-do list apps that I recorded my goals on, which made them easy to check off. I plan out each week in a timed-slot day planner each Sunday night.

“The Future Belongs to Those Who Believe in the Beauty of Their Dreams”~ Eleanor Roosevelt

I made personal goal lists, eagerly coming up what I longed for in my ideal life, and pursued those goals, too. In this way, I am always moving forward, and even with setbacks I gather my courage and keep fighting for my dreams.

All of this would not be possible without a God who didn’t give up on me. He is the wind beneath my wings. He encourages me, builds up my confidence, leads me to resources that strengthen my motivation, and sustains me when depression or discouragement strikes until my will redetermines to keep pushing on.

Philippians 2:13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.