Feeling the Sting of the Stigma of Mental Illness

Many mentally ill persons have experienced it, especially in the church. The stigma of mental illness is everywhere. When people treat you differently because you have a mental illness, it hurts. It makes some feel hopeless like nothing is ever going to change.

A year ago, I felt some pain in my body, and I was concerned. I went to the emergency room, and they took me back right away, thinking it was serious. They ran some tests, and everything came back negative. When the doctor saw my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder, he said I had psychosomatic pain, and it was just a symptom of my disorder. That’s not the first time that doctors have not taken me seriously. Several times throughout my adult life I have faced this stigma and have been shipped off to psyche wards from emergency rooms. I always found, however, that it was right where God wanted me.

Facing the Stigma with Family

My mother is no better. I am highly allergic to toxic chemicals. When I eat certain additives, preservatives, colors, or pesticides, I have severe allergic reactions. My symptoms can range from a sore throat, headache, fever or icy coldness, dizziness, itching, to passing out. Whenever I report these episodes to my mom, she snaps back at me, insisting that it is all in my head and asking me to please “shut up” because she doesn’t believe it.

I kept the truth of my mental illness from my friends for a while until I felt secure enough to explain why I hit my head, forehead, and nose repeatedly from Tardive Dyskinesia. What I have experienced with Christians is that all of them assume that I am possessed and just need deliverance. They do not understand what mental illness really is, because of some erroneous teachings of the church which declare that demons are behind everything wrong we experience. A total lie.

The Church Has a Misconception of Mental Illness

Isaiah 54:10 For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.

The truth is much of the time it comes from a predisposition from genetics and is triggered by a severe traumatic episode. These breakdowns damage the brain and cause it to split, or shatter into fragments. Then comes voices, delusions, confusion and other symptoms. Many people with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder need deep inner healing from emotional wounds and from damage to their brain. After they are healed, then deliverance can be successful. I don’t believe evil spirits create disease but attach to diseases already preexisting. They may help to develop them though by creating the conditions necessary for those diseases to emerge (such as instigating traumatic episodes for the mentally ill). I remember a nurse telling me, “[Almost] every single child at [the youth psychiatric facility in my prior hometown] has been sexually abused. I’m not surprised.

Jesus told me He wanted to heal me [of mental illness], but I needed to be healed in the deep traumatic wounded part of my heart first. Notice He didn’t say He wanted to deliver me. I went through five formal deliverance sessions in 2015, but I wasn’t healed of mental illness.

Difficulty in Public

When I shop at stores, I have a difficult time focusing and trying to make decisions about what to buy so I think out loud. I appear to others to be carrying on a conversation with myself. People stare. This embarrasses but there is not much I can do to change it.

I have been Baker Acted twice, which means in Florida to be involuntarily committed to a psyche ward. Later you are forced to attend a hearing to determine if you’re sound enough in mind to be discharged. I even had to promise at one hearing that I would pursue work to avoid them shipping me off to the state mental hospital for a long-term commitment. The first time I was involuntarily committed was in New Hampshire during my first nervous breakdown. I stayed for a month. The state wanted to commit me there indefinitely, but during the hearing, the witnesses never showed up so I was free to go.

God is the Wind Beneath My Wings

1 Corinthians 1:26-29: For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence.

God has been with me all the way, always supporting me and giving me tons of encouragement when I need it. As long as I put Him first and make Him a priority, He blesses me and takes care of all the rest. He has been very patient with me during each and every major and minor breakdown, all my delusions, paranoia, anxiety, and depression. I always feel wanted by Him; He always showers me with His love. He has provided the lovingkindness that I need to heal from my trauma so I can become whole and sound in my mind again.

God loves the Outcasts

I’ve heard it said that because the mentally ill are outcasts of society they are God’s true children. I couldn’t agree more. The world may cast us out, but we are loved by our Heavenly Father.

Psalm 34:5 They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.

Father not only loves us but is our greatest cheerleader. He always hopes the best for us: to rise above our circumstances and be all we can become in Christ. He assists us in every way He can to make those dreams we have possible. Never think that your mental illness means you can’t be a blessing to others and do something significant. Just because we are limited doesn’t mean we can’t accomplish some of our greatest desires. With God, all things are possible (Matt. 19:26). Put Him first, ask His help, and watch Him work. There is nothing too hard for Him to do (even if it’s too hard for you alone) (Jer. 32:27). If one endeavor you pursue isn’t working out, move on to another pursuit. If you put in the effort, God will move mountains and put in boatloads of effort on His part. As long as it is His will for you, you won’t be disappointed. Trust Him and give it a try.  

Zephaniah 3:19 Behold, at that time I will undo all that afflict thee: and I will save her that halteth, and gather her that was driven out; and I will get them praise and fame in every land where they have been put to shame.